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Thursday, June 18, 2009, 2:58 PM
I'm posting, I'm posting! Sheesh.
I'm sorry, I can't understand your inane logic. How can you say you give us freedom, when you don't even allow us to use the internet connection? You can't say we don't deserve it, because ultimately, at the end of the day, we still show you the work we've done. Or at least I do. So what's wrong with you? Why is that freedom? I am going to kill myself over Chinese one day. They give us this newspaper report, we're supposed to write it. Bao Zhang Bao Dao. But it's on a research, and the results. I can't say I agree with the results, because even if I do, what does it matter? Who cares? And even if I don't, then what? I think the whole purpose of making us do this thing is to let us crack our brains over it. You can try and convince yourself that what you're doing is for my own good, but ultimately, do you even know what is good for me? You can say that you know me best, because you knew me before I knew myself. But you do't go through whatever I go through. I know myself best. Everytime you ask me something, it's always about my studies. You don't ask me what I did today, you only ask, 'What did you accomplish?' Sometimes-No, most of the time-I really think that you don't really care about me, just about my studies. Maybe I should just shoot myself in the head and hope that I shoot the part of my brain which tells me to have fun, so I become a workaholic. That's what you want, isn't it? The past few days I've been working like mad, doing work when you come home, eating dinner, then doing homework straight after eating. And you don't complain, or say, 'Come take a break now,'. All you do is say 'Why don't I ever see you working?' When I take a break. I think your priorities are wrong, upside-down, because as a parent, your focus is supposed to be on my well-being first, then my studies. Outwardly I don't say anything but you're a parent, you're supposed to sense something is wrong. But you don't. You think that I retreat inside myself just to infuriate you, you think that you don't know me simply because I don't talk. But that's wrong. I don't talk because I know exactly what you'll do. You pretend to listen for a little while, then suddenly ask about my studies. Or you'll manage to maneuver to conversation towards studying again. I've tried it once, and all you did was paste a polite smile onto your face, listen for a bit then ask about my studies. Sometimes I just feel like my friends are my only family, I find I can open up more to them than you. So screw you and your thoughts. You don't know me. No one does. Only I know me, and the person who knows me best is myself. |
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